The other day I lost it on someone. Not horribly, but I said some things that were likely hurtful to the other person. I can't remember the last time I spoke that way and later felt that it wasn't acting in a very spiritual manner. I felt quite badly about the whole situation.
When I had some time to think about what had happened I realize that I had let a bunch of things build up without dealing with them and when it finally all came it- well, it wasn't pretty.
Communicating our thoughts and feelings in the moment can avoid this kind of scenario. A simple formula to let someone know what you are feeling is to simply to say "when you (state observed behavior) I feel ( insert feeling). For example, "when you say you don't trust me I feel hurt". Communication requires a receiver and a sender and so much can be misinterpreted on the way from one to the other. It is said that only 7% of communication is accomplished with words. The rest is through tone and body language. Receiving a message can be affected by past experience, and the "story" we might be making up because we may not have all the facts. Getting clear by asking "what do you mean by that" can avoid a lot of grief down the road.
In my case I had not been as curious with someone who was very persistent. I did apologize and my lesson was that even though I learned to finally stand my ground with the person, it probably would have been better to take some time before I responded.
And what was really amazing was that I recognized a part of me that I had not liked about this other person. It was like looking in the mirror.
Someone once said " people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel".
So speak your truth quietly and clearly -and may you be remembered with love.
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