Being Present

I have two adult children who are going to school away from home, both for the second year. Both have just returned to their respective homes after the Christmas vacation.

Last night my daughter called saying she felt lonely and she wanted to quit the semester and come home. Her room mate was not back yet and she had returned to an empty apartment after two weeks of constant socializing.  My advice to her was that she needs to learn to be comfortable on her own and to honor that time. Soon enough she will be finished her term and will likely be sad at the thought of leaving! Her reply was that decided to enjoy the rest of the time she had at  school- and that she knew I would know the right thing to say!

I next texted my son to ask him how it felt to be back in class. He said it was like he never left and I asked him what he meant by that. He replied that he liked being back, but missed home too and didn't know where he wanted to be. I told him the only place he needs to "be" right now is in the present. He agreed.

So often we miss some of the best parts of our lives by not being present.  It is kind of presumptive  to be  attached to future plans. I mean, who are we to think we know where we will be or what circumstances may come into our lives, good bad or ugly. Being in the present can also be good, bad or ugly. It can feel lonely, or it can feel like the time of our life. If our present is not to our liking, it is an opportunity to ask ourself what it is we can do to change things to make it better. If our present is awesome, we can first be grateful and then we can ask ourself what I did to get here and how can I have more of this!

Making plans is not a bad thing, however being attached to their outcomes can lead to a lot of grief if things don't go our way. There is a saying that if a tree is too rigid and a strong wind blows, the tree will snap. However if the tree is flexible, it will bend in the direction of the wind, and will remain in one piece.

So as I think about both conversations, I learned that even though I really miss their presence in my everyday life it was great idea for both kids to go away to school for they are learning lessons some people never have the opportunity to experience.

 And as I continue to guide and nurture my children, I realize that I am also nurturing my own inner child.  I remind myself that I too must try to stay aware of moments when I am tempted to stray to the future or past and miss my own presence.