The Iceberg Beneath the Surface

The other day someone made a comment to me about another person they did not know well, saying they thought this person was "mean- spirited". I asked if this so call mean person had actually done anything mean. My friend said no, "but he just seems so unfriendly". I suggested there could be many reasons why this person may not have been very friendly- he could be shy and reserved or maybe he was sad. As I observed this person she referred to, I have to say I did not see what she saw at all. I saw someone who did not smile or talk much, but he certainly did not seem to be the ogre she made him out to be.

We all present an image to others and none of us will ever know all there is to another person's life and why the act the way they do. It is like an iceberg.



What you see is just a fraction of what lies underneath. We have no idea of the challenges, joys and experiences of another's life, particularly when we do not know them well. I find that often people who do not seem very friendly are actually shy. To label someone as being mean when they have not done anything untoward - well, I think that is rather sad.

I heard a phrase once that seems to sum this all up. It goes "people don't behave the way they should, they behave the way they do". What this means is, people do not act in accordance to how we think they "should" act. We have our own perception of life which is almost always different from anyone else. And that's a good thing because sometimes those who have a differing view of things actually come into our lives to teach us something.

So next time you come across someone who does not seem to be very happy or friendly, give them a smile and remember that we know not what cross they bear on any particular day. All we can know is that anything someone says or does comes from a place of love or is a call for love.

And so send them some love and and silently ask them to forgive you for not understanding their behavior.

And see what happens.