A Recovering Catholic

We were taught that
To love ourself was vain
So we learned to hide
Our brilliance, our light
When we came to another to say
I love you
How could that be true?
For to truly love another
We must first love ourself
So say to yourself
I love you
I am worthy
For only then
Will you allow
The best of everything
To enter your life

Although I grew up Catholic, I do not consider myself a religious person, nor have a practiced this religion since my teenage years.

 Religion has been at the core of more wars, brutallity, prejudice and negative energy than almost anything else. Countless people died, were tortured, or burned alive over their beliefs.  Religion has and continues to use fear to keep the masses from learning the truth about Divinity- the Divinity that exisits in all of us as a reflection of God's love.

 I  was taught from day one that I was a "sinner". The focus from the church was on everything possible that I had done wrong which I was then required to  "confess" on a weekly basis- starting at the age of six!. Between you and me, most of the time I made something up. I mean, I couldn't very well go into the confessional with nothing to report back on, telling the priest that actually I had been a pretty OK person that week. That would not have been on at all.

What chance then, did I ever have to stand in front of a mirror and truly say to myself "I love you". And can you not see how that belief about myself needed to be in place before I could stand in front of another and say the very same words.

Religion is about power and fear - spirituality is way to find our way back to our divine selves. For many years after leaving the church, I closed the door to my spiritual side. I think deep down in my soul I knew the things I was being taught were not serving me, however I did not know what to replace that with. My years studying martial arts and more recently my yoga practice have opened up a new way to foster my spirituality in ways that serve not only me, but all those who come into my life. I am much more compassionate and forgiving now than ever before. It was not religion that taught me these things, it was rather the move away from religion  that led me to a being a more loving person.

Needless to say, on my journey from fear to love, I have learned to forgive those who thought they were doing right by me- my parents, the church, my teachers.  In doing so, I have removed the barriers that have kept me from knowing of this love which has existed in me all along.

And I can now look in the mirror with confidence and joy say those three little words.

I love you.