Wherever you go, there you are

We have all heard the saying "the grass always seems greener on the other side". What makes us think that if we "go" to the other side of the hill that things will be any different?

Wherever we are, in whatever suituation we find ourselves, the only constant is ourselves- what we feel, think and whatever our past expereinces bring to the situation. Often we feel that whatever is not working in our lives is external and if only we could change our environment things would be better. We may not like our job, but I am sure we all know someone who changed jobs only to go from the frying pan to the fire so to speak. We can change where we live and create new friendships and relationships- but the personality we pack with us is probably the same one we had when we were in the last town. Many people leave a relationship and enter into a new one without taking time to sort what may not have been working. Often those relationships don't work out, not because we haven't determined all the problems with the other person- we pretty much can list those off easily, but we can not always pin point our own issues that we brought with us.

So we can go from relationship to relationship or from job to job or from town to town, but wherever we go we are there. The only way to change what is happening on the outside is to change our perspective from the inside. It means asking ourselves "what do I bring to this situation that it is not working?" In other words, what patterns are not working that are no longer serving us. Not an easy thing to do, especially for those who are "comfortably numb".

So how to get some insight then? Going inside, into the stillness and silence is a good first step. Take several deep cleansing breaths and ask yourself, what is it that you would like, but don't have? Why do you think you don't have it? What do you have that is good and working? Ask the questions and then listen, for ther answers are there.

Often it takes time to break the old patterns to allow something new to take it's place. Only when we have tended to the garden of our souls will we be able to see the new grass growing where there was once a patch of weeds.

And I dare see it looks much greener too.

Valentines Day is not just for Lovers

On the eve of Valentines Day, I was reminded by my yoga teacher that what is most important in life is being able to give love and being able to receive love. It matters not if the love you give  is to a romantic partner, a friend , a child or a parent.

Modern culture will have us believe  that Valentines Day is only for lovers. But there are so many kinds of love and so many ways to give and receive and there is no one single day for which this giving and receiving has the most significance. Do not let the makers of chocolate and sellers of diamond rings fool you that this day is about love- it is about marketing and money.

I once read something that made me think about romantic relationships. It said that every love story ends in tragedy because very rarely do most lovers die at the same time. Someone is almost always left behind.

I guess what I am trying to say is single or attached, make everday a day in which you give some love away and take some for yourself. And for added measure, try and give some love to someone with whom you find yourself in conflict- I am sure they could use some as well.

After all , the greatest love of all is the ability to love ourselves first and foremost. And if you have a special someone then make everyday a day where you show your love to each other in some small way. In that way you may learn to not take them for granted as you may never know when they will be taken.

Honoring the Seasons

As I walked home from the bus stop the other day, I stopped to notice a beautiful sunset and as I watched the last of the orange- purple colors fade into the night sky, I realized the days were getting longer and that winter had passed by more quickly than I realized

When my kids left home to go to school two years ago, I made myself "busy" all the time. I wasn't ready to be an "empty nester" and I think I was afraid of what I might find if I stopped long enough to catch my breath. What I found is that I was often exhausted and that fatigue often left me on an emotional roller coaster.

This past winter I decided to honor the winter season. I greeted the solstice with an acceptance that nature is much  wiser than me. Oh yes, we have managed to find ways to keep our lights going 24/7 and have created enough distraction through radio, TV  and computers that we can ignore this time of solitude and reflection if we so chose.

But this year, I attempted to find more balance. I stayed in more often and spent time reading by the fireplace. I meditated more and went to bed earlier. Many animals go into a more dormant stage in winter, however our modern society is not in tune with nature. So it was a bit like going against the grain- something I tend to do a lot.

But as I watched as the days grew shorter and shorter, I felt I went inside myself a bit more. I was able to come to terms with some things I had been wrestling with in my mind. I allowed myself time to grieve the loss of a potential relationship and let myself feel the sadness that I would have otherwise swept aside I was went through my busy schedule. The ability to move through my feelings left me with more energy and cleared the way for something else to come forth in its place.

So as the days get longer and I sense the coming of a new season with its call to enjoy the outdoors more, I know that even as much as November, with it's gray skies and promise of the shortest day still to come, is still not my favorite part of the year, it is one for which I have come to feel a sense of fondness. For the cozy nights watching the snow fall outside while I remained warm and safe inside, the  time to rest and rejunevate from a busy summer and for the knowledge of what the changing seasons of nature can bring to my world- if I accept its wisdom.