It's My Life, I'll Cry if I Want to

For this post, I wanted to explore why women's life expectancy is 4-5 years longer than men's and if perhaps some of this difference may be due to the way men and women respond to stress?

The" flight or fight" response has been the dominant model of the human response to the stress. While both men and women exhibit a similar biological pattern of response ( increased heart rate and blood pressure), men’s behavior tends to be more fight (aggression) or flight ( social withdrawal). On the other hand, psychologists have identified a third response which is exhibited more in women than in men called "tend and befriend". They found that females respond to stress by protecting themselves and their young ( tend) and by forming alliances with a larger social group, often other women ( befriend). While the male fight response seems to be regulated by androgen hormones and linked to sympathetic reactivity, female aggression tends to be more cerebral, moderated by the social conditions and the need to be defensive.

Another response to stress that most of us don’t talk much about is “lachrymal secretion”- otherwise known as crying. Dr William H Frey, a biochemist at St Paul-Ramsey Medical Center in Minnesota, found  that emotional tears contain different substances than the tears we produce when our eye is irritated. Tears due to stress and emotions contain prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone ( triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone) and leucine enkephalin ( a natural pain killer). Crying is a function of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation.  Physically, the act of crying flushes toxic chemicals from our bodies and psychologically, crying allows us to identify our feelings which allows us to do something about our situation, therefore lifting our mood . I mean, who hasn't felt better after a big boo-hoo? As someone once said, " a bad tenant is better out than in". Research also tells us that people with stress related illnesses are less likely to be big criers.

But get this. While crying levels are much the same for boys and girls until puberty, on average women cry 47 times per year while men cry a mere 7 times. This may be because men may flush some of these chemicals through their sweat as they tend to sweat more. The presence of prolactin is thought to be why women cry more than men and women have 60 percent more prolactin than men. It also may because it has been more socially acceptable for girls to emote, whereas "big boys don't cry". But if men don't cry, identify their emotions and withdraw when stressed, does it not stand to reason that they may be at greater risk of stress related chronic illness such as cardiovascular disease, cancer and type 2 diabetes? Just saying.

Interestingly, two cultures known for their stoicism, Britain and Japan, are finding inventive ways to get the tears flowing. Britain's first "crying club" opened in 2007 and in Japan, business people are now gathering to watch "tear movies" at clubs rather than going to karaoke bars.

Crying is not pathological, it is cathartic and healthy. As an old saying goes, "What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul".

So if you are feeling a bit down, frustrated or overwhelmed, know that all emotions serve a purpose and that it is healthy to join the “blub”  and cry yourself a river from time to time. You will let go of something you no longer need and feel much better in the process.

 

Silence is Golden

I was recently reminiscing with a friend from my era- you know, the era of no ell phones, computers or IPADs- about how as children we would lie and the grass and watch the clouds and be comfortable with doing nothing. We also remembered having "quiet time" in our rooms. I used think think quiet time was more for the parents, but now I see that there was a wisdom there that we have forgotten

As the world we live in seems to go faster with all the technology we use, there is an urgent need for us to slow down.

 While we need movement for healthy minds and bodies, too much “doing” and not enough “being” can keep our stress response in overload, leaving you waking at 4 am, craving sweets in the afternoon, weakening your immune system and contributing to the inflammatory response which can increase the risk of chronic illness. Stillness (which is different from sleep) allows the parasympathetic nervous system to do its work of “rest and digest”, where the healing takes place. You see, it is about balance.

 I think of stillness in terms of mini, midi and maxi breaks. Mini breaks are short breaks you take daily, maybe 15 minutes of deep breathing or meditation. Midi breaks are those you take throughout the week- perhaps a yoga or tai chi class, a couple of hours of reading or journaling, a quiet hobby- a simply sending yourself to your room. Maxi breaks are your vacations, when you take time away from your normal routine.

 It is interesting to note that the same people who have developed the technologies that speed up our world are also the ones most sensitive to the virtue of slowing down. For example, at Google headquarters workers spend 1/5 of their working hours in “free time”, letting their minds wander to see what inspiration they might find. Many in the Silicon Valley turn off their devices from Friday night to Monday morning. And Kevin Kelly, author of Wired Magazine, takes long trip abroad, traveling through Asian villages without a computer so he can “easily remember who I am.”

 We ask our minds and bodies to “do” so much for us everyday, do you not think we owe it to ourselves to “be” more often?

 To Be is to Do- Socrates

To Do is to Be- Jean-Paul Sartre

Do Be Do Be Do- Frank Sinatra

There's Too Much Sit Happening!

More and more, I am hearing of friends who are now administering insulin to their cats. I wondered why this was and someone suggested that many cats are now indoor pets and they are not getting as much exercise as they used to. Hmmm… isn't that kind of what is happening to many of us humans- those who live in North America at least? Our bodies are meant to move and yet our lifestyle is becoming more and more sedentary, putting our health at risk.

 Think of how much of your day is spent sitting- at the table for meals, in your car to get to and from work, at your desk, at dinner time, while you watch TV. For some, sitting now exceeds the number of hours spent in sleep. There is definitely too much “sit” happening!

 So what is the big deal about sitting? Researchers have linked sitting for long periods to a number of health issues such as obesity, high blood sugar, high blood pressure, and increased risk of death from cardiovascular disease and cancer. It can also be the reason for dry eyes and misaligned hips. Prolonged sitting at a desk or in front of the TV isn't the only concern though.  A new study in the Annals of Internal Medicine finds that too much sitting is linked to serious health risks regardless of whether you exercise regularly. The solution seems to be in moving more throughout the entire day. When you stand or move even in a leisurely way, the muscle activity triggers processes related to the breakdown of fats and sugars. When you sit, these processes stall.

 So how do you build in more movement into your day?

- use a sit/stand station if you are at your desk for prolonged periods

- take short 15 minute walks during your breaks. Remember what counts is cumulative movement- it doesn't have to be done all at the same time

- take the stairs instead of the elevator/escalator

- stand while talking on the phone

- for one-on-one meetings, walk laps with your co-worker instead of meeting in a conference room.

- at home, sit on the floor as much as you can to do your activities- watching TV, computer work, even try eating a the coffee table. Do whatever you can to get out of sitting in a chair. This will help open the hips and getting up and down from the floor will strengthen muscles in your legs and core.

So, don’t just sit there! Find ways to move throughout your day whether at work or home.

Affirmations vs Resolutions; A Better Way to kick off the New Year!

New Years and resolutions have gone hand in hand for as long as I can remember. However, did you know that almost 80% of people fail in the new years resolutions? This year, I invite you to consider an alternative- try an affirmation instead.

Resolutions tend to be future-tense, one time statements of “I will” which are characterized by unrealistic expectations about the likelihood of success, speed and ease of the desired change. An affirmation is a statement of truth that you want to exist in your life that you either say to yourself or write repeatedly. Instead of “I will”, you substitute a verb of action- “I practice”, I choose’, I approach” “I Focus”. Notice they all use the present tense, which tells your brain this is happening now and makes you more accountable to yourself. When your brain constantly hears or reads your words, it programs them like a computer, helping you choose better options and experiences that will lead you to the change you are trying to make. Whatever you constantly say to yourself will generally become true, so it is important that your words are positive.
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Here are a few examples:

Resolution:

I will lose 20 pounds

Affirmation

I choose food and drink that nourish and energize me.

Resolution:

I will to take better care of myself.

Affirmation;

I move and stretch my body and breathe fresh air everyday

Resolution:

I will have more downtime

Affirmation:

I make rest, relaxation and rejuvenation a priority.

Resolution

I am not going to stressed over little things

Affirmation:

I practice noticing when I am re-acting.

Write you affirmation, then read it and verbalize it everyday. The more you say it to yourself, the sooner you will start to notice small changes in your life. Try this out- write down and affirmation and put it away somewhere. Then next New years take it and see how well it worked!